But I Think I'll Be Alright
by Gleek4Liiiife
Summary: Chris knows and reognizes his feelings he has towards Darren. He knows they will never be, and somehow, he is okay with that. He just has to get one last thing off of his chest.  I such at summaries, if you could not tell.


Hey guys! I started this story off in a completely different direction then it went in. I never thought I would write one of these, but I'm quite satisfied with how it turned out.

Review? (:

-Ally.3

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><p>Chris stared out his apartment window, wondering how he had gotten here, of all places. He was lucky, he knew it, hell, he had <em>felt <em>it. His ears still rang of the fan screams and his eyes still saw the stage lights every time he closed them.

Yes, Chris was lucky with his fame, his inspirational ways, his writing, his acting, his singing.

But, what he wasn't lucky about was love.

Chris has never been in a relationship before Glee, how could he, really? He wasn't well liked at his old high school, which no one now seemed to understand. At first, Chris didn't mind going it alone, he had it preferred it actually. That way it was easier for him to focus on what he needed to do and besides, he was only twenty-one, there was time for love later.

That all went very well until a certain cast member joined him. Darren Criss, yes, the famous Darren Criss. Harry freaking potter himself. It was nothing cliché, it wasn't love at first sight, it grew, slowly. After all the spending time with Darren, geeking out with him, joking, and dare he say, _making out _with him, the feelings just bloomed.

And Chris hated it, hated it with every inch inside of him. Chris Colfer was not in any way stupid or dumb, he was an intelligent young man with his mind set straight. But, then he just _had _to fall for Darren, he just _had _to fall for his co-star. Chris was pissed and angry at the entire world because Darren was straight. He knew, though, that they could never be, he wasn't a whiny girl about it. It hurt, sure, but that didn't mean his life had to stop just because he fell for his co-star.

So, Chris lived with his secret, telling not a soul of his feelings, and he was fine with that, perfectly fine. He couldn't do much about it, anyway, no way in hell was he going to tell Darren.

Chris looked out on the busy New York City street, people walking with their cell phones glued to their ears, trying to pass by people. He took note of how many taxi's there were, no matter how many times he had been there, the amount of taxi's still surprised him. The billboards, one of Darren of him in How To Succeed.

_Okay, really? Now you are just mocking me, I get I can't be with him, no need to throw it in my face, _Chris thought.

He sighed and rubbed his temples, Chris Colfer was not a whiny girl, he was not going to break down for some guy and he was most definitely not going to tell anyone and bug them with his problem.

There was a tapping on the door and it opened slightly, "Hey man, it's me."

Chris took in a breath and looked over his shoulder, "Come on in."

Darren slipped inside and stood behind Chris whose back was still facing him.

"I'll never get over the view you have in here, it's incredible." Darren stared out onto the New York streets.

Chris smiled softly, "Yeah, I can't tell you how long I've just been standing here, watching people go by."

Darren walked to stand up next to the younger boy and was shocked at the expression Chris was wearing. It looked a little like sadness, mixed with contentment, if that even made sense.

They just stayed there, no one saying anything, every now and again, Chris would let out a sigh and Darren just wanted to ask him what was wrong, what was bugging Chris so much.

"Chris… There is something wrong with you, you're going to deny it, but I know there is."

Chris glanced quickly at Darren and turned his eyes back to the street, "Ever wanted something you couldn't have?"

Darren nodded, "Of course. Hasn't everybody?"

Chris smiled softly, "I'm just at that point where I know I can't have it, it hurts but I still have to live on, you know? Why sit here and mope about it when you can spend that time moving on?"

Darren was beyond confused, he understood what Chris was saying but still didn't understand, "Chris, what else could you want man, you have everything."

"Darren… when you want something you can't have, what usually is it?"

Darren stood and thought for a minute.

_Oh._

"A girl."

Chris winced a little, "Exactly."

"Who is it, Chris?"

Chris just shook his head, "Not important. I just know I can't have him and I'm coming to terms with it. You're right, Darren, I have everything I could ever want, sure I really want this, but I think I'm a bit selfish. I have plenty, I don't need anymore."

"When did you become such a strong, amazing human being?"

"Always have been." Chris smiled.

"So, you still won't tell me who it is?" Darren pushed a little further.

"He was amazing. A guy beyond anyone whom I've ever met. He will always be with me in my heart, but he can't give me his. I know that and I except it. It fucking sucks, don't get me wrong, but what can I do?"

Darren raised his eyebrows, "Fight for him?"

Chris just shook his head, "No, that's a battle that was already lost before it even began."

Darren nodded his head, still not quite understanding. He thought a little more, why would Chris not fight for this guy who he said to be amazing? Every time he liked a girl, he would fight for her. And Chris was not the one to give up so easily, so why is he just standing there, looking sad but happy at the same time? Who could he not have?

"He's straight." Darren widened his eyes.

Chris nodded, "Completely off limits. I'm not stupid, Darren. I know that it won't happen; I know he won't love me back. So, I'm just going to except it as it is. There is nothing I can do. One day, I won't feel like this and I will meet a guy who flips my world upside down and what I felt for this guy will be nothing for what I feel for this guy now."

Darren was sort of speechless; Chris was so calm about this. He wasn't crying, his face didn't look too upset and his voice never wavered. Chris was amazing, beyond any person he has ever met. _He will find a guy_, Darren thought, _and he will be the luckiest guy in the world._

"Do you mind not telling anyone? You're the only person who knows about me liking this guy and I would prefer not to have those pity looks, those irritate me."

"Of course, Chris. Please, tell me who the guy is? The only people I've ever seen you hung out with is the cast and I know you don't see them in that way."

Chris sighed, "I'm not going to tell you, Darren. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but it is better that I don't say it."

"And why would that be?" Darren pushed more.

Chris ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, "Damnit, Darren, _please._ Just, don't."

"I don't see what the big deal it, Chris, you know I won't judge you or anything."

"I know, Darren."

"Then why-"

"It's you."

Darren knew exactly what Chris meant. It was him. Oh my god, Chris liked Darren. No, he probably loved Darren.

"Darren, before you say sorry, or I can't be your friend anymore, or whatever, you need to hear me out with this. I'm okay, really I am. I was stupid, I let myself fall for you, and personally, I didn't even know I was doing it," Chris shrugged, "Like I said, I'll get over it, Darren. I won't feel like this for you forever, I'm not crying over you because _I know. _I know this can't happen and well, I accept that and I'm moving on"

Chris actually smiled, gave a full-hearted smile. He was free, Darren knew. At first he didn't want him to know, but he realized that was his last step, to tell him and to get everything off of his chest. He had kept this is for so long and he just needed for it to come out.

Darren didn't know what to say, he was pretty confused. He has had his gay friends have crushes on him that eventually ruined their friendship but here he was, with Chris, and he knew that it was going to be okay. It was weird for him, to have Chris act to calmly, for him to understand that it just can't be, for him to just except it.

They both stood there, not needing to say anything, nothing was awkward, and they were just them. They were going to be okay because that's just who they were. Chris was going to fall in love with another man and be happy one day. And Darren would be there with him every step of the way. He loved Chris, just not in that way.

Chris singed softly, "Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight, I'm beginning to see the light, blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight…_"_

Darren joined him, "But I think _we'll _be alright."


End file.
